Expelliarmus!
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| Achio finishers' medal! Who needs Vaporflys? Source: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/G/02/apparel/rcxgs/tile._CB483369956_.gif |
I quite enjoyed the Harry Potter books and films. They are a bit far fetched though, all that magic and stuff. The very thought you could influence the world around you through an incantation, the flick of a wand or some ritual, it's just superstitious nonsense. Well, so you might thought, we're in the 21st century after all. However, you can't dodge untold thousands of years of evolutionary and social conditioning. It's human nature to develop routines in daily life which can take on ritualistic significance over time. On workdays for me I have my own rituals. It's toilet, shower, dressed, breakfast, teeth, coffee, car, work. OK, that's probably classified as more of a daily routine, but there is a line over which any routine becomes a ritual. So if, from my example, this transmogrified into toilet, shower (switch off and on the shower power chord three times to make sure it's off), dressed (fasten alternate buttons on my shirt then fastening the other ones), breaksfast (porridge, stirred entirely anti-clockwise), teeth cleaned, coffee (made blindfolded), car (wearing only Nike Vaporfly to drive in because that's how much of a runner I am and I've paid £250 for them, so I want more than 500 miles out of them - I'll take the piss out of these in a later entry), work, then it starts to take on a sympathetic magic element which I suppose is what happens when you start doing things that aren't functional. Sports rituals are the best example of this.
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| The shit you need to go through to get over that finish line. Who needs training and a Garmin when you can do this? Source: https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2015/02/11/what-is-ritual/ |
During my own activities I have certain rituals before the gym that are different to before I go out for a run. These are things that have developed over years. I check in, go straight to the changing room, pull on my gym kit, lock up my civies, put my padlock key on its elastic band round my wrist, have a wee. The wee is important and it doesn't matter if I have been just before I set off to go to the gym and it doesn't matter if I really need a wee or not, but I have to have that wee. I head onto the gym floor, go to the water cooler, unscrew my water bottle, rinse it out, put the lid back on and squirt the last water out through the nozzle to give that a wash too. Then I unscrew the lid and fill the bottle. I get into the studio, take the wrist band with the key on it off and put it round my water bottle, put down my bottle and sweat towel onto one of the steps piled up at the back of the studio and head for my space to wait for the class to start. The space I take up is always the same in any given class, but the position varies from class to class. I say it's the same, but sometimes someone else is in my space, so I have to move to another space and stare daggers at them throughout the session. I'm usually at the front, but might be over to the left or the right. This is as close to ritual as I get.
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| Proto-Dada art piece becomes part of a pre-workout ritual Fountain by Marcel DuChamp DuChamp would be rolling in his grave that I've misappropriated his misappropriated piece to make a (piss) weak joke in a running blog over a century later. Or maybe he wouldn't Source: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/marcel-duchamp-1036 |
Working out at home is different again. Get changed, set up the computer, look for the workout I want to do (OK, it's pretty much always Body Combat, but I have to decide which release to choose), take a couple of selfies, start the stream off and go. I may set up my phone to record video because Insta. I may go for a wee before I start. It's not as much of a big deal because I've not been driving from work and I'm not setting out on long run. Also, I'm at home, so if I need a wee, I can pause the video and go and have a wee any time I want.
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| The home studio. Not much in the way of ritual |
Obviously I'm strictly a rational and half-arsed™ amateur so I'm not especially given to ritual and superstition or any of that unevidenced anti-scientific bollocks (I'm a Sagittarius, so obviously it's not in my nature) beause my career doesn't depend on it. Professional sportspeople are worse since they are possibly the most ritualistic and superstitious people in the world (with the possible exception of problem and/or professional gamblers). Watch any race in athletics and as the athletes assemble on the starting line, they will do all sorts of stupid shit before taking their position. Footballers taking to the pitch or after they score a goal also do weird stuff. Even cyclists do it. They have had literally millions of pounds put into studying every miniscule fragment of training and preparation. Every biometric datum is fed into sophisticated algorithms to determine that the tiniest fraction of a percentage point in decreased drag might shave a decimal point of a millisecond from a 200 mile race. They have an army of medics and dieticians to create a diet containing a specific proportion of soya protein to linseed oil to regulate their poo cycle and not forgetting those TUEs for huge dose cortisol, erythropoietin and testosterone (please follow these links. I do marketing for Lab Tests Online UK and we really need the hits) that were delivered under plain packaging all of which contribute to incremental gains. Yet all these gains are worth fuck all because Mark Cavendish got into a funk because his lucky Bugs Bunny thong he wears under his cycling shorts is in the washing basket, or because Chris Froome had insomnia as he had forgotten to pack his Little Mix pyjamas to wear on the team bus between race legs.
What other song was I going to post?
Superstition by Stevie Wonder
This week's activities
Runs
For shame, I only ran once this week. It was difficult to find the time and avoid the inclement weather, so the main thrust was indoor Body Combat.As always my fitness activities were powered by Tikiboo and, as the theme this week was primarily Body Combat rather than running, this track helped drive me along as I punched and kicked.
Wings by Birdy (Nu:Logic remix)
The sound of BC 78, Track 8 boxing. This track has easily over 500 punches
Sunday: Long run, 13.97 km (Shoes: New Balance WT410v6.0, 1082 kcal). Had a good saunter out to Gawthorpe and back. Some great sights to see and bumped into a friend who I had a chat with which means I got good 10 minute rest before the last couple of km home.
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| A fine Art Deco water tower |
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| An actual May pole in Gawthorpe in May |
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| A wonderful collection of Morris Minors |
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| Typical W Yorks vista |
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| Nobody was going to lose me in this get-up |
Other stuff
Friday: Body Combat (release 84, 45 minutes, in the boy's room)
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| BC 84, after |
Saturday: Rest day (ended my 14 day exercise streak, mainly because we are in the process of getting a new kitchen so had to go out to look at some showrooms)
Monday: Body Combat (BC 83, 45 minute, 278 kcal, in the boy's room on the small laptop) The tracker stopped recording after 35 minutes
Tuesday: Body Combat (Remix 02, 40 minute, 372 kcal, in the conservatory on the large laptop) It's all about the punches in this one. We had a huge hail storm as I went to do this workout. It was so noisy in the conservatory that I had to get out because it was sound it was actually hurting my ears.
Wednesday: Body Combat (Release 82, 45 minutes, 336 kcal, in the boy's room)
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| SMELL MY ARMPIT! Actually, it's an ascending elbow in the Muay Thai track on release 82 |
Thursday: Body Combat (Release 78, my favourite, 45 minutes, 416 kcal, in the dining room)
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| Mid jump kick Channeling my inner Black Panther with a jumping kick in track 2 of BC 78 |
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