Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind

When I started writing this blog, it was April 2021 and, despite being still under the spectre of a global pandemic, we'd had quite a prolonged dry spell where I live, so the trails were actually pretty solid and mud free. We even had some unseasonably warm weather which helped dry them off even more. May hit and, not only did the temperatures plummet, but the rain came too. I didn't bother with trail running for a while after that because they would have been like running through rice pudding with added shit, which is not my idea of a good time (the clue's in the blog name). Actually, that's not strictly true. I have had great fun MTBing and, on rare occasions, running in muddy conditions. The problem is the state it makes of your clothes, shoes and, in the case of mountain biking, your bike when you get home. It is disappointing though when you're hoping the weather allows you to get out and do some trails in your new trail shoes and give them a good chance to get broken in and you can put away your running jacket or hoodie and base layers, and maybe switch to capris or shorts.

The going's a little soft through Coxley Woods today
Source: https://closeupculture.com/2017/11/22/knee-deep-the-usefulness-of-mud-on-film/

As it happens I only got caught in rain once, and that was when out for a 5km on polling day (see that entry, Never Mind The Ballots). I mean, this was partly luck, but also a good deal because I'm the half-arsed runner™ and if I get a whiff of precipitation, I'd be putting on the kettle to make another coffee, putting up my feet and watching cartoons (or porn. OK, not porn. I only run when my son is still awake or when I'm at work, so porn's not really an option), hoping the rain would fuck off, or else cranking up the laptop, moving the dining room table and setting up for a cheeky Body Combat session.

The weather's shit so back to the faux-jo again

Now that summer is finally here, running is less of a chore and actually more enjoyable. Well, up to a point. There was the other week on my long run through a local wood when I took a slight wrong turn and ended up in an utter quagmire leftover from last month's shitty weather. Getting muddy wasn't a major concern, but picking my way through the muck without going arse over tit was. Worse than that, it slowed me down, decimating my time (Strava is a stern mistress). It was still lots of fun though. My sock might not agree as it's now a sort of dirty off-white colour. It was like Glastonbury 97 all over again. I'm still kicking myself that it pissed it down so much and was so disgustingly clarty that I couldn't get to the other side of Worthy Farm to watch Portishead on the Jazz Stage.

Half Day Closing by Portishead
What I missed in Glasto because of the sodding mud

It's not all sweetness and light running in the summer. Firstly, the ability of nasty plants to grow, especially those prickly and stingy bastards that you get in the UK, is ridiculous. Brambles really impinge on trails, giving your legs and ankles the look of someone walking through a cattery who forgot they'd put catnip in their socks. Nettles grow like wildfire as well. All it takes is a brush on your bare skin and you've got patches making you look like you're half man, half raspberry. It wouldn't be bad but, if you're running, you can't really stop to pick a dock leaf (see my comment above on Strava). 

 

Soures of images: https://www.allotment-garden.org/gardening-information/weed-control/stinging-nettles-control-eradication/, https://www.woodlands.co.uk/blog/flora-and-fauna/brambles-rubus-fructicosus/

The other irritant has six legs, diaphanous wings and a proboscis. Yes, I'm talking about biting insects. Now we are fortunate enough not to have any insect-borne disease in this country (Lyme's disease doesn't count, as it's tick-borne and ticks are arachnids, not insects). Indeed, we aren't as badly plagued by biting insects generally as many, warmer parts of the world (Scotland and its infamous midges not withstanding), so I get far fewer bites here than when I'm outdoors abroad. However, I usually manage to get at least one bite, usually somewhere around my ankles. You don't notice them at the time, but they start to itch and they really get on your wick. Next thing you know you're scratching like a leper with fleas.

Your summer running companion

Source: https://theconversation.com/mosquito-bites-widely-available-skin-cream-found-to-prevent-the-spread-of-deadly-viruses-new-research-130246

The last thing that really pisses me off is sunburn. Oh, ye of higher melanin levels, you have no idea what we of a far-North European complexion have to deal with. I've got red hair and wraith-like pale skin. I do not tan. However, I do burn. I mean, I wouldn't say I burnt easily, but if I go out at night and the moon is past half full, I will come in looking like I've just loudly farted in a lift and the other people in the lift knew it was me, I'm so red. Needless to say, in bright sunlight, I may as well BBQ my own arms. Of course, tanned skin isn't actually healthy. It's basically the skin's way of saying "AAAARRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I'M BURNING! GET ME OUT OF THIS INFERNAL LIGHT!", so it's a good idea to get slap on some sun lotion. In my case this means something that, were it any more UV impermeable, it would be an actual balaclava. Factor 50 if you please

Your UV rays cannot harm me! My suncream is like a shield of steel
Source of images:http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/b/batfink.htm  https://www.nivea.co.uk/products/protect-moisture-spray-spf50-40058088566950045.html

Still, none of these things really diminish the joy of running along a canal tow path when the trees are in leaf, the birds are in full song and you've got enough skin bare to give you a vitamin D fix for the week, so get out and enjoy it.

So, the take home messages of this weeks homily are: mud doesn't literally hurt, but it is a metaphorical pain in the arse; nettles, brambles and biting insects are bastards; but if there is one lesson I'd give it is: always wear sunscreen

This week's activities

All activities were powered by Tikiboo, as usual, even wearing Tiki shorts for a few of this week's activities.

Track of the week
Imagine you're out on the trail, you just crest a hill and all of a sudden there's a stunning view in front of you and this utter banger kicks in on your headphones. This is what happened to me the other week as I emerged from Coxley Wood and turned back towards home through Netherton, with Horbury and Wakefield stretching off into the distance. Moments of synchronicity like this are what running is all about

Runs
I only managed a single run this week, but it was quite a long one. I sat out my usual Friday lunchtime outing at work run as my knee was a little achy

Sunday: Long run day. Under instructions from the Mrs who was getting a bit grumpy about my long runs, I meant to do 10km. It ended up being 13. Whoops!

A lovely trail with some proper woodland atmos (even though this is about 200m from the M1)

What you lot looking at? Haven't you got some milk to make?

A canal vista that wouldn't look out of place in the opening credits of Out Of Town
(nothing like a 40 year old reference to get the kids on board)

I like locks

Navigation

 

Other stuff
Saturday: Step aerobics (45 minutes, 364 kcal at Real GroupX)

The latest thing: the post-workout in-car selfie

 Saturday: Doubled up with a cycle ride with my son, his best friend and his Dad (20.17 km, 807 kcal)

Strava stopped recording at about 14km, so this is from my Huawei Band 4 Pro tracker

Monday: Body combat at home (release 83, 45 minutes, 349 kcal)

Everybody was kung fu fighting.
OK, only me. I was kung fu fighting. On my own. To music

 Tuesday: Body Combat at the Total Fitness (release 86 plus a new track from 87, 45 minutes, 438 kcal). Check out the shorts (no pun intended). They were great in a stifling studio

Wenesday: Body combat at the Total Fitness (mixed bag, 60 minutes, 420 kcal)

Thursday: Clubbercise at Total Fitness (some new tracks, 45 minutes, 364 kcal)