It's coming home!
3 Lions by Baddiel and Skinner (plus Ian Broudie)
It was 30 years of hurt. It's now 55 years of familiar dashed expectations
Fitness regimes are great as you participate in them. They really become part of your life. You look forward to your next session. You have your week mapped out around classes or runs. You plan what time you need to get away from work so you can get to your gym session in time, plan whether you need to get changed at work to give you a bit extra time, rather than using the changing room. You even plan what you're going to wear a couple of days in advance (and by "you", I mean "I" because, yes, I'm way more of a gym tart than is probably healthy in a middle-aged man). So, when anything gets in the way, it can cause distress.
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You're ready for aerobics but realise you need to get home to watch the match The duality of being a middle-aged male gym tart (only kidding, obviously this is the wonderful and sadly missed Victoria Wood) Source: https://www.listal.com/viewimage/11521290 |
There are a few things that, despite your best efforts, can disrupt your routine. Injury is the worst, because you know that you're out of action for possibly weeks and there's nothing you can do about it. This has happened to me a few times. I broke my collar bone falling off my bike on black ice one time. This meant a few weeks out which was because I had to have a plate inserted to secure my clavicle. Six months later I was out again as they took the plate out. I broke my foot which knocked me out for a few weeks. One other time I hurt my knee in aerobics (I leapt and felt something go when I landed, which is an occupational hazard for someone with the gym nickname of Tigger) which meant another few weeks out. And let's not talk about the time I got sepsis and was in ICU for three weeks, putting me out of action for 6 months. Catastophic injuries and critical ilness aside, it's probably something that happens more often with age, like your brain says "I'm going for a run!" and your joints say "Like fuck you are". Currently I've got a niggle in the same knee and really hope it doesn't get worse and make me put up my feet, but until it cripples me, I'm running it off, give or take the odd ibuprofen.
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| But I can still go to Body Combat tonight, right? https://ethicsalarms.com/2019/12/19/open-forum-post-impeachment-edition/catch-22-hospital/ |
Sporting events can also get in the way. The odd late kick off Premier League game can make you miss Clubbercise, for example. An important race or other event in the Olympics can make you go directly home without passing the gym and without collecting £200. You can live with this as the odd rest day is not a bad thing (well, not for normal people, as opposed to iredeemable gym bunnies like me who joneses if they don't get their daily endorphin high). Longer periods of disruption come (usually) every couple of years when there's one of the major international football tournaments, namely the Euros or The World Cup. I love these times. I really get football fever and so many memories are attached to these compettions throughout my life. You want to watch the games, maybe all of them, but especially the England ones, and maybe the ones with the other home nations, if they're in the competition (spoiler alert: they're usually not, especially if they're Scotland). In the early rounds, they tend to have two or three games a day, and (unless the competition is somewhere with a very different time zone) this really gets in the way of your fitness routine. On the other hand, this is where running can help. It's not too difficult to find a half hour to nip out for a 5km, though it still needs some planning, like remembering to take your kit to work or not eating anything too close to when you are panning your run.
This was the soundtrack to my finals at university as Italia 90 took place
As I write this, Euro 2020 (as played in 2021 for obvious reasons) is currently underway. I've been lucky and not missed any England games so far and have managed to see most of the good matches. Actually, that's not strictly true. What I actully mean is none of the matches I wanted to watched have clashed with my fitness activities because, despite the football fever, I'm still me, the gym bunny, gym tart who needs a big, kick-arse dose of endorphins to function. However, the next England game scheduled is a knock out match and will be more awkward as it clashes with a Body Combat session in the gym which I will need to cancel. To be fair, as it kicks off at 5pm, it also clashes with work but, who cares about that?* Worse still, for a big game, you need to have a drink to enjoy it, so it means that a workout afterwards is also off the table. This means, if I want to do anything active, it will need to be a lunchtime run at work, or, God forbid, an early-doors class in the gym (early as in 6:30). I mean, really, what am I supposed to do?
Anyway, whatever happens for my gym routine on that day, I don't really care as long as England make it through. Given this is a tie against Germany it's going to be stressful and I am not looking forward to the headlines from the gutter press in the run up and the day after. And for fuck's sake, don't let it get to penalties.
*For any work colleagues who might be reading this, obviously I'm joking, being the paragon of professional conduct that you know me to be, apart from the oblique references to oral sex or farting I might make in important meetings.
This week's activities
Everything was powered by Tikiboo, as usual. Track of the week is from my current favourite running playlist. I've had dance music, hip-hop and a bit of folk-rock, but this weeks has to be a bit of swamp blues from Creedence Clearwater Revival. Such a great song as you're plodding the pavement
Up Around The Bend by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Runs
Friday: Lunchtime run at work. A bit of an adventure. I planned a 5km route that I'd never done before, but got got a little lost so ended up doing 7km. Found overgrown paths, minging mud but made some new friends.
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| Channeling my inner giraffe with the leggings but supporting England with the top |
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| Yorkshire! |
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| Awwww |
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| My new friend. He was really curious |
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| Mud, mud, glorious mud My trainers were fucked after this |
Sunday: Long run day on Fathers' Day. Woken to have croissants and presents of a box of Celebratinos and a bottle of Highland Park single malt. Got up, dressed and went out, sticking to roads mainly as we'd had some rain the previous week. Did, however, do Pildacre Lane, the notorious local hill, but wasn't happy about it before I attacked the gradient
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| What goes down... |
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| ... must go back up, but you don't have to be happy about it |
Saturday: Step Aerobics at Real Group X (45 minutes of awesome, 328 kcal)
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| Post workout selfie in our kitchen that's being prepared to be done up, hence it looks like a tip |
Saturday: Walk out with our son's friend and his Dad (6.16 km, 469 kcal)
Sunday: Cycle ride with the lad, a little Fathers' Day bonding to Thorne's Park and back, taking in an ice cream and a drink (8.37 km, 408 kcal)
Monday: Body Combat in the conservatory (Release 83, 45 minutes, 407 kcal)
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| Reclining after I'd finished |
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| Obligatory action pic in mid jump |
Tuesday: Body Combat at the gym (45 minutes, release 86 which I'm not loving, 373 kcal)
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| Total gym tart |
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| Post workout glow |
Wednesday: Body Combat at the gym (mixed tracks, 60 minutes, 528 kcal)
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| Pre-gym selfie. Do you like my office? |
Thursday: Clubbercise at the gym. I made an effort to put new batteries that I'd just had delivered from Amazon in my glow sticks then promptly left them at home. (45 minutes, 352kcal)
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| Another one of my not so occasional series "Sweaty car selfies" |
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